All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. 所有这些笑话都预先被我认为是好笑的。 -- Mitch Hedberg 米奇·赫德伯格
The king is dead. Long live the King. 国王死了。国王万岁。
Who winks to the blind, does work in vain. 向瞎子眨眼的，是枉费心机。
My history is really playing live - not writing or recording. 我的历史真的是现场演奏，而不是写作或录音。 -- Tom Jenkinson 汤姆·詹金森
Genuine victories, the sole conquests yielding no remorse, are those gained over ignorance. 真正的胜利，唯一不产生悔恨的征服，是那些从无知中获得的。 -- Napoleon Bonaparte 拿破仑·波拿巴
One should not stand at the foot of a sick person's bed, because that place is reserved for the guardian angel. 一个人不应该站在病人的床脚，因为那个地方是留给守护天使的。
There are people much less fortunate than us, and I don't mean people hungry sleeping in the streets either. 有些人比我们不幸得多，我也不是说那些饿着肚子露宿街头的人。 -- Della Reese 德拉里斯
He knows enough who knows how to live and keep his own counsel. 懂得如何生活和遵守自己的忠告的人，懂得的就够多了。
Be willfully ignorant. You have a dream; pursue it with passion. 是故意无知。你有一个梦想;带着激情去追求。 -- Robert Kiyosaki 罗伯特·清崎
The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen. 生活中最重要的两件事是好朋友和强壮的牛棚。 -- Bob Lemon 鲍伯·李蒙