demetri-martin

33 个文章
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言
Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral.
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言
I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie.
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言
I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言
I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me.
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
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demetri-martin 德米特里·马丁 名人名言